Musings of a Masked Maestro

D'ARCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-03-18T01:20:00.003+01:00

Not only has that talentless hack had me evicted from my home for over a year, but now he's apparently moved in and wearing my wardrobe!

You will curse the day you dared to wear my mandarin robe, Lord D'Arcy! And I'd better not find out you're using my bunny slippers, too!

Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.

The Tables Have Turned

2010-03-07T03:03:00.002+01:00

I am posting this from an internet café on the Champs Élysées. D'Arcy's control over the management seems to be complete as he has had them file multiple lawsuits against me for my past crimes and thus Mifroid and all his men have invaded the Opera -- effectively sealing off all access, even via my personal secret passages. The latter isn't surprising, however, since I spotted Nadir conversing with the Commissary. It seems D'Arcy has even convinced the daroga that I am once again a public threat. I can only imagine what "evidence" D'Arcy planted that would successfully turn my old friend against me.

I discovered this shocking turn of events only a few hours ago when I returned home to find Gerik torturously pounding out the melody to "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" on my organ. Upon my arrival, he stood to greet me.

"Sae we meit again fur th' first time, fur th' lest time."

"Monsieur Seinfeld rang; he wants his puffy shirt back."

"Och, ye ur a clever a body."

"Pardon me?"

"Ah said yoo're huir av a clever an' witty."

"Are you speaking Esperanto or is that just your stupid Scottish accent?"

"Enaw gab! Th' gam is up, mah wrinkled, un-tanned auld mukker. An' ye hae tint."

"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to get my Berlitz book…"

"Gendarmes ur posted at every single entrance, Polis Commissary Mifroid an' his men ur oan their way as we spick, yer haem noo belongs tae me, an' suin yer wee Christine will be oors an aw. Th' trap has sprung. Laird D'Arcy, Mr. Cobbler an Ah hae won. Ooh, Ah jist gart a rhyme!"

"Hey, look! A mirror!"

"Whaur?!?"

I then clocked him over the head with a candlestick and escaped seconds before Mifroid and Nadir arrived.

As for now, posters for my arrest are practically on every corner, and I can only stay in one place for a short while. With my, albeit, masked face everywhere, I've resorted to wearing a canvas sack over my head and masquerading as Joseph Merrick.

With my identity compromised, homeless, and my friends being turned against me, I fear that I may not be able to do this alone.

Your angel of darkness,
O.G.

D'Arcy's Dastardly Plan

2010-03-06T18:02:00.001+01:00

My investigations into D'Arcy's personal records have revealed why Christine "decided" to participate in this sham of an opera and the depths to which the British Lord will sink in order to get his way.

It appears several months prior to his arrival in Paris to begin work, Christine's apartment building on the Rue Notre-Dame-des-Victoires was acquired by a front company for D'Arcy's corporation. A few garrotted contacts later revealed that he was threatening to evict Christine and Mama Valerius if she did not cooperate and star in his opera. Throwing a young girl and her elderly benefactress out into the streets? This villain knows no shame!

I knew my Christine would not willingly associate herself with such filth. Now, I must find a way to end this fiasco once and for all…

Your angel of darkness,
O.G.

Insert my theme music here

2010-02-19T18:32:00.005+01:00

DJ2 Previews Cancelled
Updated 2/17/2010 6:14 PM

Paris, France (AP) — It has been said that theatre is plagued by ghosts; and it appears the Paris Opera's resident spook is making himself heard once again.

Originally scheduled to begin previews this Saturday, the cast of Lord Ambrose D'Arcy's DJ2: Electric Boogaloo arrived at the Palais Garnier this morning to find all the sets and props for the production had vanished. The police investigation that followed soon found the charred remains of the items in the Bois de Boulogne, arranged to spell out "D'Arcy Sucks!" in huge letters when viewed from the air.

In a brief statement to the press, Lord D'Arcy's representatives announced that previews have been pushed back one week while the crew works to rebuild all the lost sets and props. Those patrons who had tickets to the cancelled performances were informed they could direct their complaints to the nearest brick wall.

I swear to you I can hear D'Arcy's shouts of "You're dismissed!" all the way down here in the fifth cellar.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

A plan is forming….

2010-02-06T18:04:00.004+01:00

D'Arcy's trainwreck of an opera is almost ready, and thus, there is more and more promotion of it to be found. This past Tuesday marked the release of one of its arias, "I Lost My Heart to a Dark Seducer," performed by my Christine and the Corps de ballet:

D'Arcy's patsy -- that Harrison critic from London -- had this to say in his newspaper column yesterday:

Get ready for the greatest event in opera history when Lord D'Arcy's DJ2 opens at the Paris Opera next month! The sets are built and the creative team and cast are busy in the rehearsal studio to work out all the kinks before opening night. The Opera's first single, "I Lost My Heart to a Dark Seducer," performed by leading lady Christine Daaé, has just been released in stores and on iTunes and is sure to generate great buzz for the show.

In past columns, I have given you details as to the plot, but now I have the great pleasure of telling you a little about the glorious music itself! Always on the cutting edge, Lord D'Arcy has created an opera composed of a single melody, with only the lyric changing from aria to aria. "It's brilliant, and something no one has been brave enough to attempt except me," said the composer between setups. And he's absolutely correct; the melody is so catchy you don't even notice that you've been hearing it repeatedly for three hours straight!

When asked how rehearsals were going, director Jay Cobbler replied, "Sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex!!!!!"

Surely, we are in for a thrill come March!

Your angel of darkness,
O.G.

OH NO HE DI’INT!!!!

2010-02-02T02:24:00.003+01:00

Those dolts in management are certainly going to hear from me about this!!!

Who had the gall to have my Christine participate in a photo shoot for MAXIM magazine!?! “Help draw more crowds to the Opera,” my lily white arse! D'Arcy and Cobbler have gone too far this time!!!!!

OH IT’S ON NOW, BIOTCH!!!!!!

Prepare to experience the full wrath of The Phantom of the Opera!!!!!! And he’s bringing a six-pack of whoopass with him!!!!!

I think I’ll be holding onto this issue, though. For research purposes. Yes… that’s it… research purposes.

Uhh… I’ll be in my coffin if anyone needs me.

Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.

Catching Up

2010-01-29T04:20:00.003+01:00

As much as it pains me to say it, it appears that Lord Ambrose D'Arcy is a formidable opponent. Not only did that pasty-faced Brit succeed in effectively neutralizing me by arranging my incarceration by a devoted "phan" halfway across the world, but he also managed to sideline my network of informants by anonymously supplying a law school scholarship for Madame Giry and sending the Persian on a wild goose chase by hinting that my disappearance was due to darker purposes. That only left Little Meg and she has been distracted by the advances of the Baron de Barbazac (not to be confused with the Baron de Barbizon, the Beauty School King).

And my worst fear has been realized. My Christine has been completely taken in by D'Arcy's machinations. As you can see, his cohorts in the media succeeded in driving a wedge between my Angel and her fiancé with the incessant rumours about the Vicomte's infidelity and peccadillos:

---

Viscount Raoul de Chagny in rehab for sex addiction
Updated 10/17/2009 11:03 AM

Paris, France (AP) — Viscount Raoul de Chagny has entered a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction.

In a statement released Friday by his lawyer, M. Cartier, the French aristocrat said he did so voluntarily, adding: "I ask for respect and privacy for my fiancée and myself as we deal with this situation as a couple."

The de Chagny family's publicist, Adobo Pasquale, confirmed the rehab report, which first appeared on People.com.

He and Cartier both declined to elaborate further.

de Chagny, 21, has been fighting allegations of affairs, alcohol abuse and sexual addiction since his return from his humanitarian aid trip early last year.

---

Their engagement was called off around the New Year, it seems, and the Vicomte has yet to return.

D'Arcy has even gone so far as to relocate her to another dressing room where I no longer have immediate access to her. With no one who truly cares about her able to come to her aid, it is no wonder that talentless, warthog-faced hack's plans are coming so quickly to fruition. They are already deep into rehearsals and an opening night has already been established.

I have only managed to speak to Christine once since my return, and she was strangely quiet as to what she has been doing in regards to the “opera.” I am beginning to suspect she is keeping something from me.

Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.

Four Months

2010-01-24T00:52:00.001+01:00

My dear readers, I suppose you've been wondering why my journal has been devoid of notes these past several months. Well, it is all due to that villain D'Arcy and the lengths he will go to ensure there is no interference in bringing his opera - inspired by MY ORIGINAL WORK - to life this year.

You see, in late September, I decided to journey to the Americas to a place called "Las Vegas" to attend an event called "Phantom Fans Week." The thought of a week-long event centering around my legend piqued my curiosity, so I decided to travel halfway across the globe, entrusting Madame Giry would inform me of anything of importance that may happen in my absence. She even provided me with something called a cell phone since "trans-Atlantic mail correspondence would be too slow," she said. My curiosity got the better of me and I wound up disassembling it halfway through my trip overseas.

It was an intriguing experience seeing so many people who seemed quite interested in my life and story. A curious group of people, these Phantom fans. I had expected people who related to me to be depressed and gloomy pre-teens all dressed in black, but this lot was a rather jolly one Which, as it turns out, is a ruse to make you drop your guard so one of them can sand-bag you in the middle of the night and lock you up in their basement for four months.

It could have been worse, of course. They could have been Twi-hards.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find out exactly what has been going on in my absence…

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

An update on Christine and Raoul

2009-09-13T05:33:00.001+02:00

I received a letter from Christine the other day. She and the vicomte are still on holiday in Germany but the paparazzi are continuing to pursue them in light of the recent reports of this (completely false) "personal" videotape and the boy's alleged sexual idiosyncrasies. She says the vicomte's entourage is doing its best to keep the media from getting too close, but their mere presence is making it difficult for them to work on their relationship issues.

She did, however, send along this lovely photograph of themselves.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

Addendum

2009-08-30T20:42:00.001+02:00

In my fury, I neglected to emphasise in my last post that the video in question is an outright fraud. Neither I nor Christine are the participants featured in this video.

It also explains where my mannequin disappeared to earlier this month.

There shall be a reckoning, D'Arcy. Mark my words…

Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.

MERDE!

2009-08-29T08:03:00.001+02:00

How DARE that pompous, arrogant, rosbif bastard! I know he's behind this!

Phantom of the Opera Caught in Bootleg Sex Tape
By Richard Chambers
Last updated at 3:19 AM on 28th August 2009

The Daily Mail has just received what appears to be a private sex tape of gorgeous opera superstar Christine Daaé and the mysterious Phantom of the Opera.

An anonymous person, who may be planning on selling the tape over the internet, has allegedly been circulating the tape amongst members of the media.

Representatives of Christine Daaé, currently set to star in Lord D'Arcy's "DJ2: Electric Boogaloo," insist that the tape is a fraud and that Miss Daaé would never participate in such scandalous behaviour.

Did he even consider what this might do to Christine's reputation? And with her and Raoul in Germany trying to mend their relationship away from prying eyes, she cannot even defend herself against such slander!

IT IS WAR BETWEEN US, D'ARCY!

(As if I didn't have enough problems with all these email messages I've been getting addressed to a "MaskedOrganMaster.")

Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.

Now This is Amusing...

2009-07-31T20:36:00.000+02:00

Apparently, D'Arcy's new star has already had some experience in front of the camera:

According to the website, Gerik is selling these videos out of his garage. Perhaps this is how he funds his weekly trips to the spray-tan salon.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

D'Arcy's Golden Boy

2009-07-27T03:36:00.001+02:00

All I hear around the administrative halls these past few weeks is "Gerik this" and "Gerik that." I've half a mind to blow those barrels underneath the torture chamber just to drown out all that annoying fawning.

Apparently, the costs are going towards something other than this Gerik's wardrobe since all his shirts were missing the front half. How I miss Mme Björnson's presence. There was a woman with a true sense of beauty.

I'll have to see what I can uncover about this whelp's background…

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

DJ2 Official Press Announcement

2009-07-08T03:55:00.004+02:00

Don Juan 2 is a Hot Mess

In a press conference on the steps of the Paris Opera earlier today, Lord Ambrose D'Arcy confirmed that soprano Christine Daaé and baritone Gerik will star in his new opera, "Don Juan 2: Electric Boogaloo." He informed the press that the production is scheduled to premiere in the middle of the coming opera season, adding, "any more delays and I'll dismiss the entire staff!"
The show, originally scheduled to open the season this September, has been plagued by minor setbacks for the past several months. Many attribute it to the legendary Phantom of the Opera, who allegedly wrote "Don Juan Triumphant," the opera Lord D'Arcy based his sequel upon and does not want his work "compromised" by a sequel. But the composer dismissed such rumblings as backstage gossip.
"Listen to me: there is nothing in Heaven, on Earth, or in the depths of Hell that will prevent my opera from going forward," Lord D'Arcy said as we listened to Ms. Daaé's soaring soprano voice while she and other cast members rehearsed a scene onstage. "Look at that: my music, my actors, my sets. How could any sane person deny the world such perfection?" His collaborator, director Jay Cobbler, noted as they watched Ms Daaé practice her pole dancing technique opposite her stage rival, Rose (played by newcomer Rose Velvetlips), "She's quite talented. I mean, look at that lovely hair."
"She's a delicious little thing," Lord D'Arcy added.

My sense of DJ2 is that it's undoubtedly the most incredible, innovative, and spectacular score the world will ever hear and once it premieres, the demand for it to be added to the repertoire of every opera company around the globe will be immediate.
The show is set a year after the events of the original. Don Juan has escaped from Hell with the unwitting assistance of Doctor Who and finds himself on the run from an army of men dishonoured by his lascivious shenanigans. Donning a mask and amassing a great fortune as "the F@#king Bandit," Don Juan establishes himself as the Grand Master of a hedonistic pleasure resort called The Electric Boogaloo.
Aminta, now an exotic dancer and unaware that her lost love is the puppet master behind the scenes, is invited to perform at the resort. But hot on her heels is her former fiancé, Batricio (played by Anatole Garron) and the mysterious El Fantasma (played by the late Abe Vigoda), who are convinced that she will lead them to their elusive quarry.

We shall see who has the last laugh, D'Arcy…

Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.

Goodnight Sasha

2009-07-04T18:54:00.002+02:00

It has been years since I lost you, but the emptiness in my heart remains. That part of myself that you filled with your unconditional love, your limitless joy, your non-judgemental affection.

Your name was my first word. Your gentle touch, my first laugh.

You were my first friend, Sasha. And you will always be a part of me.

Love,
Erik

Vicomte de Chagny Threatens to Sue Tabloid over Personal Attacks

2009-06-28T22:17:00.004+02:00

26 June 2009 (Paris Match) - Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny is livid over the numerous sleazy personal allegations ascribed to him in the British tabloid the Daily Mail. Previous stories included anonymous claims that the Vicomte is having an affair with American actress Angelina Jolie, is an abusive alcoholic, and is a eunuch. Last week, the tabloid reported that Chagny has a fetish for autoerotic asphyxiation and voyeurism.

The charming and popular Vicomte is currently engaged to Christine Daaé, popular Swedish opera singer, although rumors are flying that their relationship is on rocky ground.

Speaking through a family representative, the Gallic hunk says he is greatly embarrassed and aggravated by the tabloid stories which he claims are not true, and his lawyers are currently investigating their legal options.

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

More Tabloid Rumours

2009-06-20T09:24:00.001+02:00

I may not be on the best terms with the boy, but even I doubt anyone would believe this rubbish.

Viscount Chagny is a Sex Addict?
By Richard Chambers
Last updated at 8:13 AM on 19th June 2009

An anonymous source informed the Daily Mail that the growing rift between opera superstar Christine Daaé and her fiancé Viscount Raoul Chagny stems from the French nobleman's obsession with voyeurism and autoerotic asphyxiation. Apparently, the seeds for the Viscount's sex addiction originated during the infamous events of Miss Daaé's abduction by the Phantom of the Opera during the premiere performance of "Don Juan Triumphant." Previously thought to merely be backstage gossip, our source claims to have found new evidence of an incident between the Viscount and the Opera Ghost over Christine deep beneath the opera house which involved Chagny suffocating himself with a noose while watching his fiancée get hot and heavy with his arch nemesis.

The source added, "It's all quite scandalous, you understand. I think it would be best for everyone that they separated so that the Viscount's tarnished image would not be linked to someone associated with my-- I mean, Lord D'Arcy's new opera."

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

All is Silent on Lake Averne

2009-05-23T18:12:00.001+02:00

After having successfully derailed D'Arcy's project for the time being, there has been little for me to do other than lay the groundwork to destroy it permanently. I am currently delving into the background of this Gerik person to see what deep, dark secrets I can find.

In other news, I took Ayesha's laptop away from her about a month ago after discovering she felt that my checking up on Christine and the Vicomte's relationship was unhealthy. Does she not understand that I am only looking out for my Angel's best interests? And to have the temerity to suggest that she set me up on one of those electronic dating services…

Well, what she doesn't know is that I have been seriously contemplating doing so for a few months, now. I have a first draft in front of me, but am unsure if I should post it.

Bah! Such concerns are trivial if D'Arcy and his cohorts are not stopped from desecrating my magnum opus with their sequel. Back to work…

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

Operation: B!tchslap the Brit - Phase One

2009-05-09T17:02:00.001+02:00

D'Arcy's DJ2 Is Delayed
8 May 2009

Lord Ambrose D'Arcy has cancelled next week's press report to launch the promotional blitz for his new opera, DJ2, after being forced to postpone its opening from September to late October, according to a report in the Daily Mail.

According to the London paper, the composer has had to return to the studio to re-record the album, after having learned that all the sheet music provided to the musicians and performers had been transposed in a seemingly random manner. "We were confused at first," said one musician who wished to remain anonymous, "but we figured Lord D'Arcy was going for a cacophony of sound. If he'd bothered to attend a single recording session, we might have avoided all that waste of time."

You're welcome.

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

Gossip

2009-04-19T22:03:00.004+02:00

Something is amiss here...

Daaé and Chagny Heading for Split?
By Richard Chambers
Last updated at 1:24 PM on 17th April 2009

They've been flying under the radar lately, and now it sounds like there are rumours of a split in the works for Christine Daaé and Viscount Raoul Chagny.

The opera songstress and her aristocrat fiancé are reportedly having a rough go at romance due to the Viscount's alleged dalliances with American actress Angelina Jolie - so much so, that it looks like they'll be calling off the engagement soon.

An inside source told the Daily Mail that they're "struggling with trust issues. They're arguing all the time, and Christine feels he isn't the man she once knew."

And this seems to be the case - reports of drunkenness, abusive behaviour, and castration, albeit unsubstantiated, are suddenly pouring forth from anonymous sources.

All of this to say it won't be surprising if we hear an official breakup announcement soon. A Daaé pal revealed, "The relationship has been over for awhile, but she's too sweet a girl to end things completely."

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

DJ2 Update: "Objective" Media Reports

2009-04-12T19:19:00.006+02:00

I believe D'Arcy has already started paying off the press, or at least giving advanced insight to those whom he holds sway. I found this article -- penned by that atrocious critic Harrison -- in a London paper:

Watch out for opera darling Christine Daaé and hot newcomer Gerik, who are all but set to open as the leads in DJ2: F*ck You, Just Give Me Your Money and Shut Up, the sequel to Don Juan Triumphant. Lord Ambrose D'Arcy's wide-ranging score has a mix of soaring romantic songs, hip-hop and gentlemen's club style songs. DJ2 will open at the Paris Opera with an official first night on September 14 (no word yet on when previews will begin), and will have its marketing launch in the middle of June, with tickets going on sale at that time. Director Jay Cobbler will begin rehearsals in Summer.

The score is absolutely thrilling, truly D'Arcy's latest magnum opus. It's going to be the biggest theatrical event Paris has seen when it opens the opera season this Autumn. D'Arcy will officially announce the show on May 14.

Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.

Chagny Returns

2009-04-04T03:24:00.000+02:00

The Vicomte returned from his extended humanitarian aid trip to New Guinea a few days ago amidst much scandal. Apparently upon his arrival, he has been hounded by journalists demanding comment on the numerous accounts of he and the American actress Angelina Jolie spending time with one another over the past three months.

His first stop (not that I track his every movement) was the Opera where he demanded to see Christine. Rumour has it that things have gone a bit frigid between the two of them since neither received any correspondence from the other the entire time -- I swear I had nothing to do with that, by the way.

I am curious to see where this leads, only because I care so much about my dear Christine and do not want to see her heart broken. Unfortunately, I have few means to comfort or reassure her personally, since she has ceased her voice lessons with me since last week. I suspect some villainy on D'Arcy's part.

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

They cast WHO?!?!?!?

2009-03-27T22:31:00.003+01:00

My dear readers, it is official. I have learned that my nemesis, Lord D'Arcy and his co-conspirator, my other nemesis Jay Cobbler, have decided to cast my ULTIMATE nemesis Gerik, in his Don Juan sequel. He will play opposite Christine and the opera is scheduled to open the season this Fall. All my enemies have united against me! Surely this is some test of my resolve, pitting me against so many foes. Or perhaps I've landed in a Batman movie. I haven't decided quite yet.

Investigations have also weeded out casting notices, shedding light on the characters and more in this sham of an opera:

Seeking

Don Juan:
Caucasian man, 25 - 29. Recently rescued from Hell, he burns with the flames of hot, naked sexuality as he ravishes the Mediterranean coast as "The F*cking Bandit" and rises to become the maestro of a hedonistic pleasure resort called the Electric Boogaloo. Must possess effortless sensuality and sexuality. Chest hair a plus. Singing voice optional. STARRING ROLE.

Aminta:
Caucasian woman, 21 - 21.5. Now a destitute (yet hot) peasant, Aminta still holds the steamy sexuality of her days as a youth. Although she has an echo of sadness and distance about her after having lost her soul mate, she must possess an equal blend of raw emotionality and extraordinary physical flexibility. Glorious soprano singing voice. Bring fruit of your choice to audition. No fatties. STARRING ROLE.

Batricio:
Caucasian man, 24 - 25. Aminta’s ex-fiancé. Now a functioning, stoic alcoholic with more than a glimmer of self-righteous rage at being cuckolded. First leftenant of the army hunting Don Juan across the countryside. Must possess domineering gravitas and sexuality and look good in toreador pants.

Rose:
Caucasian woman, 17-19. A sexy gypsy and Electric Boogaloo star. Sweetly gothic, a mystical down to earth-ness, unusually nondescript, and possesses a vulnerable heart of steel. Tall, yet petite. Strong pole dancing experience. A spunky voice, bell-like but with a raspy quality. Must be able to belt as well as sing while hanging upside down from a trapeze and being sprayed by a firehose.

El Fantasma:
Caucasian man, 50-100. Disfigured creature and Don Juan's nemesis, intent on making things happen for him and him alone while having attained the position of affluence in the Spanish court. He thus feels entitled to prominence and distinction. Carrier of a dark secret, he will make sure that nothing and no one gets in his way of taking revenge on Don Juan. Has much pent-up aggression, like a compressed Mel Gibson after a 2-week bender, if you will.

The Doctor:
Caucasian man, age N/A. Sexy Timelord who saves Don Juan from Hell and serves as deus ex machina for any plot holes. Must have an other-worldly essence and goofy charm; an off-kilter attractiveness and character. Preferably last name that rhymes with "pennant."

Time is of the essence. I must accelerate my plans…

Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.

DJ2 update

2009-03-21T23:50:00.002+01:00

This update is a bit overdue, but I thought I should post it nevertheless in case some of you were interested in where my investigations were currently.

Last month, Ayesha boldly infiltrated Lord D'Arcy's estate and succeeded in deleting the entire score off of his computers. She also absconded with a file apparently dealing with this new opera [sic] before being spotted and fleeing the property. I was quite pleased when I found the documents outside my door.

My mood was short-lived after opening the package, which detonated a dye pack within and stained my hands, suit, and mask in bright pink ink. At the bottom of the package was a note that read as follows:

Hahahahaha you FOOL! You dare try to sabotage my new opera?!? Did you not think I would be prepared for your meddling in my affairs? You have sorely underestimated me, my boy, for you fell victim to one of the world's classic blunders: Never go in against D'Arcy when there's fame, fortune, and a casting couch on the line!

I will always be one step ahead of you. You may have bested managers, stagehands, divas, and viscounts in the past, but you are sorely mistaken if you think you'll succeed against a LORD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… HAHAHAHAHAhahaha… haha… ha… *whew*

Lord Ambrose D'Arcy

Seriously, who *writes* maniacal laughter? Clearly the man is unbalanced. And when teamed with that gaudy American director, Cobbler, perhaps I do have a less than easy task on my hands.

I shall endeavour to keep close eye on Christine to be sure she is not drawn too deeply into their schemes.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

O.G.: The Ultimate Pickup Artist - Part Trois

2009-03-17T02:05:00.004+01:00

Case Study: The Bounce

Today's topic is a concept referred to as the "Bounce." To "bounce," is to take the object of your interest on an instant date, moving them from where you are to another location.

It's actually easier to show this rather than describe it, so I've included a video for demonstrative purposes.

Man #1 starts off well enough, starting off with a solid hook to draw the young woman into a conversation. He does have a bit of a handicap considering he has a prior history with her to draw on, but even that can only get you so far. Notice how she pulls back after the brief embrace (did she feel something inappropriate on his part downstairs? Keep your hormones under control students!) and he immediately resumes a nostalgic narrative in order to maintain the connection. He's rushing a bit in attempting kino escalation (more on this in another lesson) -- notice how he starts to touch her shoulders and play with her hair -- but she doesn't seem put out by it. His big mistake is attempting a bounce (inviting her to supper, in this case) without a stronger comfort zone established. She clearly offers up something of importance to her in conversation, but he completely ignores it. His game not only goes downhill from there, it jumps off a cliff.

In comparison, Man #2 starts off by firmly demonstrating his higher value by initiating an AMOG (Alpha Male Other Guy) move, essentially locking Man #1 out of competition (typically, this is done in the competitor's presence, but the result here is the same). The woman responds with clear IOIs (Indicators of Interest), demonstrating a solid comfort zone has been established between the two. It is at this point that Man #2 initiates the bounce, and is successful and the PFC (Poor Frustrated Chump) named Man #1 is left wondering what the hell happened. And that took all of 2 minutes! THAT's a master pick-up artist at work.

Thus endeth the lesson.

Your obedient friend,
O.G. (aka The Angel of Music)

St. Valentine's Day

2009-02-15T01:23:00.001+01:00

This day confuses me. What is the correlation between a beheaded priest and sending flowers and chocolates to someone you love? And when you try to give a more appropriate gift, people call the gendarmes. Society truly confuses me sometimes.

Anyway, the general consensus is that this is a day for romance. I think of myself as a romantic, but despite my reputation of being a "stunning sexual master" (I'm not sure who exactly said that or what they were snorting at the time), I have never really had anyone to share this day with. Sure, I have my mannequin, but it's just not the same, as I'm sure you can understand. I am one who loves deeply and completely. Some call it stalking. I prefer to think of it as devotion.

But as much as it pains me to say, I'm not sure there will ever be anything between Christine and me again. She is completely devoted to the Vicomte and even these rumors of a liason between himself and the American actress will not shake her faith. And all my efforts to comfort her have been rebuffed. I'm not sure if she feels I am attempting to take advantage of the situation or if she simply does not want to be reminded of it more than she already is due to the paparazzi's constant harassment.

So what is a older man like myself supposed to do? I might not be the best catch, but I think I'm okay.

I enjoy the theatre.
I enjoy candlelight.
I enjoy fine wines.
I own a fully-furnished lakeside property.
I have a lavish (if somewhat lethal) home-entertainment system.

Perhaps I should place an ad in the local newspaper's Singles section.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

Trouble in Paradise?

2009-02-09T04:26:00.002+01:00

De Chagny's timing is impeccable as always...

---

Jolie Jilts Pitt for Frenchie?
MSNBC
Updated: 10:13 p.m. PT February 7, 2009

Brangelina no more?

With the former World's Sexiest Man Alive off shooting "Ocean's 14" through "Ocean's 37" back-to-back, it appears that Jolie has found a new companion in the handsome and dashing Viscount Raoul Chagny.

According to witnesses, the American actress/U.N. Refugee Agency's Goodwill Ambassador/international adoption agency and the French aristocrat have been spotted working very closely together as they participate in Bono's Domiciles for Dwarves program in New Guinea. Reps for both Jolie and Chagny had no comment.

Could this mark the end of Hollywood's ubercouple and the opera world's fairytale romance?

---

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

Elation and Trepidation

2009-01-24T22:01:00.002+01:00

I've been in a creative frenzy since Madame Giry had Meg explain that the incident I'd seen between my Christine and Gerik was completely one-sided and unwelcome. Apparently, Christine was a bit tipsy (as was related in Madame's inebriated ramblings later that evening) and the villain had caught her at a particularly vulnerable moment. I still have yet to speak to her, since apparently she had learned that I saw them and is too embarrassed to be in my presence for now.

I've also had some time to delve further into my investigations into D'Arcy's pet project and had a look at the costumes for the new “opera.” The only one being worked on at the time appeared to be a recreation of Christine's Aminta costume from my opera -- although it was obviously "altered":

Where is the rest of her skirt?!? That cad D'Arcy, to subject my Angel to wearing that! Why, just picturing Christine in such a revealing costume makes me so furious! My dear, innocent Angel's toned and graceful calves so blatantly displayed, her milky white thighs bared for all to see… um… uh… what was I saying?

Oh yes, D'Arcy! I've decided that I must learn more about this project of his, so I've dispatched Ayesha (fresh off her "Ra's Al Ghul's League of Shadows' "Infiltration Made Easy" correspondence course) to sneak into D'Arcy's estate and see what she can learn.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

A slow week

2009-01-12T01:23:00.002+01:00

I've been in a rather somber mood ever since the beginning of the year. Ayesha still isn't speaking to me and I've made a conscious effort to stay away from Christine. Even making Carlotta sound like Minnie Driver in "GoldenEye" during her most recent performance couldn't lighten my spirits.

And I really miss my monkey. I fear I must have done something with it during my alcohol-induced blackout, but for the life of me, I cannot remember anything.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

Fallout

2009-01-03T18:32:00.003+01:00

My dear readers, the unthinkable has happened. My Angel has broken my heart again.

I had thought that with the Vicomte having left for far-away New Guinea, the Masquerade Ball would be a chance for Christine and I to rekindle the connection we once had. Unfortunately, things did not turn out as I had hoped.

I was later than usual making my entrance at the Ball. Not for psychological impact, but because due to my recent illness I'd let myself go and realized to my horror upon donning my Red Death tights that I had muffin top. But I'm otherwise still skeletal! What cruel hand has God dealt me now?!?

Well, after that brief trauma (I had to resort to wearing a girdle), I finally slipped unnoticed into the subscriber's rotunda through one of the secret passageways minutes before midnight. The ball was already at its height, and the revelers were clearly three sheets to the wind. I saw the managers, Firmin in his typical conservative costume and André -- apparently indulging his "creative" side -- foregoing his skeleton tights for what amounted to little more than a couple of black rectangles. I refuse to say more because it only brings the horrific image of it back into my mind.

I spotted Meg at one end the Grand Foyer, surrounded by a number of -- I hesitate to refer to them as "gentlemen" due to all the leering they were doing at Madame's little girl. But apparently she had a friend of hers nearby (I recognized him as the fellow in the colorful clown costume), so I knew she was safe. I even caught a glace at Madame Giry looking extremely inebriated and apparently trying to pick a fight with someone in a dual-sex costume who was taking liberties with his hands while in the company of one of her dancers. But at three minutes to midnight, my Angel was still nowhere to be found. I swiftly made my way through the crowd as the seconds counted down, desperate to find Christine before midnight struck. Five… four… three… two… one…

And then amidst the crowd at the bottom of the main staircase, I saw her. Her lips pressed against those of a man dressed in scarlet red breeches, black jackboots and a rapier.

GERIK!!!!!!!

Why God why?!?

Unable to bear the sight (and throwing up in my mask a little), I ran off, losing myself in the crowd. After that, everything got a bit hazy. I think I had a drink or seven, but mostly succeeded in dribbling a good portion of it down the front of my costume (it's hard to aim for one's mouth while wearing such a large mask as I was). Of course, since I didn't eat beforehand, the alcohol immediately accosted my system like Lord D'Arcy at one of his chorus girl auditions and everything went blank. Although I do remember attempting to drown my sorrows in the company of three rather quiet ladies with long curly tresses like Christine's. The newspapers apparently chronicled the rest.

Now that my hangover is gone, I'm attempting to assess things, starting with my home. I suddenly feel like the three bears from that children's tale…

And where is my monkey music box?

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

Why is that cockroach shuffling so loudly?

2009-01-02T03:52:00.002+01:00

Last night was not one of my better nights. My tarot cards foresee a setback with Dr. Schneider…

---

Man with Mannequin Fetish Arrested
2/1/2009 03h19

PARIS, France (AFP) - A man dressed in an elaborate Red Death costume was arrested and jailed early yesterday morning after breaking into Printemps and absconding with three female mannequins dressed in lingerie, gendarmes said.

The unidentified man was found unconscious in a side alley surrounded by said figures when he was taken into custody. "He kept mumbling about dungeons of despair and the like," one officer reported. "He's obviously just some drunk loony who has had his heart broken at a New Year's party."

Mysteriously, the suspect vanished from his cell shortly after being booked. His current whereabouts are unknown.

---

Your hungover angel,
O.G.

D'Arcy says, "The Button is Pushed"

2008-12-30T03:38:00.003+01:00

And may God have mercy on us all.

---

D'Arcy Greenlights New Don Juan Opera
29/12/2008 12h05

PARIS, France (AFP) - No need for Viagra here -- it seems nothing can stop that old warhorse of a property called Don Juan from rising again.

The entire operatic world knows of the ill-fated "Don Juan Triumphant," an ambitious opera by an unknown composer that somehow found itself entwined in the mysterious legend of the Phantom of the Opera.

Now, the infamous British composer Lord Ambrose D'Arcy and his collaborator American director Jay Cobbler have announced that "the button is pushed" on their follow up to that work.

Currently titled "DJ2: F*ck You, Just Give Me Your Money and Shut Up," it is set to open at the end of next year at the Paris Opera.

The sequel will be set a year after the first installment, during which Don Juan has languished in Hell only to be rescued by Doctor Who. Adopting a new masked identity, Don Juan soon amasses a great fortune from his conquests and opens a pleasure paradise called the Electric Boogaloo. "It's something I've always imagined building myself one day," said D'Arcy.

The opera will reunite Don Juan with Aminta, originally played by opera darling Christine Daaé who will be reprising her role. The rest of the production has yet to be cast, but D'Arcy is clear on who his Don Juan is going to be, "but I can't say who."

Cobbler only comment regarding the project was, "Sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex!!!"

Look for Don Juan to expose himself to the opera-going public next winter.

---

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my torture chamber getting acquainted with the iron tree and a sturdy length of rope.

Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.

Christmas Dinner

2008-12-27T18:28:00.005+01:00

Although the Masquerade Ball is still to come, things have settled down a bit here at the Opera now that Christmas is behind us.

I had a pleasant Christmas dinner with Nadir, Ayesha and the Girys. It was rather brief, however, since people always find it disconcerting to have a meal while I am sitting stock-still at the table, neither eating nor drinking, and staring at them the entire time. I can't help it; it's what I do.

I was genuinely touched by the gifts the Girys had given me, particularly the new quill and inkwell set from Little Meg since my old one is a bit worse for wear. Even Ayesha, my little darling, was in the Christmas spirit and had gifts for everyone. Her gift for me was quite the surprise -- her own original composition. Although to be honest, when I played it on the organ, it sounded strangely like this:

I don't have the heart to tell her...

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

Joyeux Nöel

2008-12-24T22:52:00.003+01:00

I found this in an e-mail someone sent me from America:

Merry Christmas to me, indeed!

Christmas, like most holidays, is for people with family and friends. And until recently, I have always felt I had neither -- with the exception of Ayesha and Nadir of course. But now, I feel something akin to companionship with several denizens of the Opera. It's as if my heart grew three sizes today.

The Girys left their gifts for me in Box Five last night. In return, I left them their gifts: for Meg, a free coupon to step in for a suddenly-available prima ballerina role at a performance of her choosing (with at least a day's notice to make the arrangements), and red petticoat for her mother (don't ask). I also have a gift for Ayesha that will hopefully keep her from further ravaging my mannequin. And while I was in a festive mood, I also left a lump of coal in Monsieur André's tophat and gave Carlotta a new atomizer since she threw away the one I gave her that last time. I also acquired this item on eBay as a gift for the Vicomte de Chagny and propped it up outside his bedroom window:

I'm also a bit disappointed that Christine could not share these warm holiday feelings with me since apparently, Monsieur le Vicomte has whisked her away to spend the last fleeting days with her before he joins that celebrity charity trip to New Guinea. I cannot blame him, however. I most likely would have done the same if our roles were reversed. See Dr. Schneider? I am capable of growth!

Joyeux Nöel,
O.G.

I must be going senile

2008-12-23T14:47:00.000+01:00

Where are my spare cloak and hat?

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

"Quality Time"

2008-12-17T01:39:00.001+01:00

Madame Giry is attending a ballet conference in London this week and informed me that this would be a good opportunity for me to share some (as she put it) "quality time" with her daughter. She has never explained exactly why she has recently given great interest in having us "bond," and to be honest, I've been too preoccupied with this Gerik person to give it much thought.

"Find something to do together that you'll both enjoy -- but no reading her detective stories!" she insisted before she left last night. "She's inquisitive enough as it is."

I'm at a bit of a loss for what to do. While I appreciate the art, I am not as educated about ballet as I should be, so unless this "Nutcracker" features Gerik and a ballerina with notoriously bad aim when she kicks, that may not work out for the best.

Perhaps I'll teach her the art of the Punjab lasso.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

A gift from Little Meg

2008-12-11T06:47:00.002+01:00

A bit jolly for my taste, but I suppose it's the thought that counts.

Merci, Meg. Joyeux Noël to you.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

Here, I have a note

2008-12-10T03:37:00.002+01:00

Viscount de Chagny to Get Down and Dirty for the Poor
7/12/2008 14h07

PARIS, France (AFP) - Viscount Raoul de Chagny, after having announced that he would be co-funding U2 frontman Bono’s humanitarian aid expedition to New Guniea, startled reporters when he added that he would be personally assisting in the endeavour.

The young and handsome French aristocrat has managed to avoid the public eye despite his engagement to opera star Christine Daaé, preferring to allow his fiancée to shine in the spotlight. But after appearing in MTV’s “The Real World: Paris Opera,” the Viscount has been in attendance at many philanthropic events.

Bono’s project, called “Domiciles for Dwarves,” will construct homes and provide medical care for the country’s indigenous pygmies. The 2-month long operation boasts many international media celebrities and will commence at the end of the month.

---

Bon voyage, Monsieur le Vicomte! Don't get eaten by cannibals or anything!

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

This Month’s Object of My Borderline-Obsessive Affection

2008-12-02T02:34:00.002+01:00

Christine Daaé

A young woman with a very forgiving soul.

Christine and I got into a bit of a tiff last month. I was upset that even with her excellent taste and standards, she has yet to divorce herself from D'Arcy's "DJ2" project, instead deciding to honor her obligations as a member of the company. In a moment of thoughtlessness, I said she should grow a spine and she responded with something regarding a nose and then stormed off. And to be honest, I believe the Naomi Watts thing didn't help matters.

But both our heads have cooled and she even took it upon herself to decorate my lair for the Christmas season. Hundred of metres of garland are strewn across the portcullis, the candelabra now look like giant candy canes, and life-sized jolly elf figurines are currently prancing around my throne.

I love the girl with all my heart but someone has got to stop her before she decorates again.

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T01:53:00.001+01:00

We do not celebrate this holiday here in France, and I've never been partial to food or group gatherings in the first place. However, in tribute to my American readers, if I have the opportunity, I will be serving "Gerik and Vicomte flambé" tonight.

Now where did I put my skull staff…

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

My New Nemesis

2008-11-14T22:50:00.003+01:00

Gerik!

This young and sexy (or so he's been touted) upstart is using my own Ultimate Pickup Artist techniques against me in an attempt to usurp my throne! Well, not literally, I'm sitting on it right now -- no, not the *porcelain* throne, the -- okay, wait, let me start again.

Gerik!

This would-be dark seducer has adopted my look and my techniques (albeit to a much less refined degree) in an attempt to replace me! Using my own graciously-offered and completely-free advice, he's taken my recent absence as an opportunity to worm his way into my opera house.

He is the Khan to my Kirk! The Moriarty to my Holmes! The Joker to my Batman! The Pepsi to my Coke!

You will curse the day you dared to challenge me, Gerik! I will grind your sunburned face beneath my boot and you talent-less voice will be silenced for all time!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA--*cough cough*

*sniff* Damn this cold…

Your Angel of Darkness,
(the original) O.G.

Title Change

2008-11-13T23:19:00.001+01:00

D'Arcy seems to be ambivalent on what this "opera" of his will ultimately be titled. He recently announced that it is now officially called: "DJ2: F*ck You, Just Give Me Your Money and Shut Up."

It's not very catchy.

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

O.G.: The Ultimate Pickup Artist - Part Deux

2008-11-07T15:31:00.002+01:00

My warmest thanks for all of you who submitted your videos and photos based on my advice in my first lesson. I literally soiled my trousers with amusement. You'll each be receiving my laundry bill in the post shortly.

Lesson #2: Openers

The hardest thing for a man to do is to engage a woman in a conversation. If you cannot speak to her, you cannot get anywhere. This barrier can be caused by low self-esteem, fear of rejection, or you have a pizza for a face. Regardless, if you want to get the girl, you have to overcome this. There are several ways to do this, but since I don't want to hand-hold you, I'll just give you the most basic one: the hook.

The hook is a question or statement that will catch her attention and cause her to engage you in conversation. Stay away from openers like, "Do you come here often?" or "That's a nice dress you're wearing" or "Does this look infected?" It has to be something that can actually lead somewhere, like, "Your dead father sent me down from heaven to teach you to become a great singer." There's no way that will fetch a simple response.

Thus endeth the lesson.

Your obedient friend,
O.G. (aka The Angel of Music)

He can't be serious…

2008-11-03T01:02:00.001+01:00

Apparently, D'Arcy premiered the first act of his disaster-in-waiting to guests at his private estate on Halloween. This is what an entertainment reporter for Le Matin had to say about the plot:

[…] As for "DJ2: Electric Boogaloo": It's set in the fourteenth century on the Mediterranean coast. Don Juan has been rescued from Hell by Doctor Who's TARDIS and promptly abandoned after he attempts to seduce the Doctor's latest companion. Now on the run from a legion of cuckold husbands, dishonored fathers, and irate brothers, Don Juan dons a mask to hide his identity and terrorizes the countryside as "The F@#king Bandit." Soon, after amassing a great fortune from his conquests, he builds himself a hedonistic resort called The Electric Boogaloo. But at night, he crawls into his lair and makes love to an automaton that looks like his lost soul mate, Aminta.

Meanwhile, the real Aminta has fallen on hard times, having been disowned by her peasant family after abandoning her fiancé for Don Juan a year ago. So she's accepted a high-paying gig as an exotic dancer from a mysterious impresario to open a new pleasure palace. On her first night, she draws back the curtain in her suite and comes face to face with her new employer - flash of lightning, crash of chords - Don Juan!

I nearly choked on my corn flakes when I read that.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

This Month’s Object of My Borderline-Obsessive Affection

2008-11-01T17:31:00.002+01:00

Naomi Watts

My remarkable constitution seems to be failing me as I get older, so I've been stuck down here in my lair with a case of the sniffles. Madame Giry has been down once a week to keep me apprised of current events, but for the most part, I've been lying in my coffin watching dvds.

This "King Kong" film by Peter Jackson is quite good. Mlle. Watts plays a theatre actress who shows great affection and compassion for a misunderstood creature.

And she has really great legs, too.

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

WHAT?

2008-10-25T01:43:00.000+02:00

What the hell is a Gerik?

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

O.G.: The Ultimate Pickup Artist

2008-10-19T01:05:00.004+02:00

All right. Despite my lack of hair and a nose and matching eyes and partially exposed skull and generally skeletal appearance overall, apparently I have a certain je ne sais quoi when it comes to the ladies. This has been statistically proven by several polls taken around the world (which either means I've got a certain somethin' somethin' or there is an alarmingly large number of necrophiliacs out there).

Due to that reputation, I've been receiving several letters from men asking me for advice on how to get the young lady of their dreams. To placate my psychiatrist, I'm compelled to be helpful to these no-game losers at love by occasionally providing lessons on what I've learned here (that's OCCASIONALLY. Don't expect me to be too generous with my advice). Now without further ado, let's begin.

Lesson #1: Establish an avatar.

Don't be yourself. There's a reason why you're forty years old and still living with your parents. No, you must be the person you aspire to be: someone with confidence, poise, and élan. Someone who exudes authority and commands respect. Someone not you, basically.

So how do you be someone you're not? You create a new persona, or avatar. Act like you have the qualities you want and soon you'll convince yourself and others that you do. But an avatar is not only the attitude and personality you project, but physically, it involves wearing one or more accessories that draw attention to you. Anything will do: a particularly unique pendant, uncomfortably tight trousers, an intriguingly stylish mask, etc. The objective is to enhance yourself. Bald? Wear a wig. Short? Wear lifts (hey, it works for Prince. That midget gets all kinds of tail). Once you have your attitude and physical look ready, come up with a new name for yourself. Something like "Magnum," "Eros" or "Vigorous." That way the fragile ego of the *real* you is protected and you can claim anonymity when women shoot you down and then run home to blog about you on the internets.

The avatar goes hand-in-hand with "peacocking": parading around in whatever get-up you've chosen for the purpose of drawing the attention of women (but hopefully not the "pointing and laughing" sort of attention), but more on that later. Oh, and bonus points if you already know what sort of persona the object of your desire… desires. If it isn't a stretch for your personality, go ahead and mold yourself towards that avatar and you'll be a step ahead of the game.

So messieurs, go through your closets or head down to the department store and make yourselves over. Once you feel you have your avatar down, send me a picture or video of yourself and I'll ~~use it to blackmail you later~~ grade you on your approach.

Thus endeth the lesson.

Your obedient friend,
O.G. (aka The Angel of Music)

I am…

2008-10-17T23:28:00.002+02:00

There have been many stories written about me over the years. Novels, plays, moving pictures, et cetera, et cetera. And as time has gone on, it seems that my legend has been twisted and manipulated into something that is not. So I felt that I should set some ground rules for everyone as to who I am. But I do enjoy an air of mystery about me, so I will only define myself by what I am NOT.

1. I am NOT young.
2. I am NOT sexy (there is a difference between "sexy" and "sensual").
3. I did NOT receive my disfigurement from acid or fire.
4. I did NOT spend my formative years living in the bowels of the opera house.
5. I do NOT stick rats down my trousers.
6. I do NOT have a sex doll made in Christine's likeness.
7. I do NOT run an amusement park in America.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

My PoNR name

2008-10-12T22:47:00.003+02:00

Sasha Saint-Léonard.

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

This Month’s Object of My Borderline-Obsessive Affection

2008-10-01T15:24:00.002+02:00

Christine Daaé

A divine singer, a consummate actress, and she can do things with an apple that now cause me to blush whenever I pass by a fruit stand.

It's fortunate I swapped out the banana before rehearsals began.

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

Casting has begun

2008-09-30T03:56:00.001+02:00

Apparently, casting has begun for D'Arcy’s bastard child of an opera, “DJ2: Electric Boogaloo.” I spied a long line of young, handsome men in front of the rehearsal hall, so I assume they’re trying out for some young aristocrat role.

I also understand that Christine will reprise her role as Aminta, but I am ambivalent about this. On the one hand, I am pleased that they know true talent when they hear it, but on the other hand, I do not feel she should sully her reputation by allowing her sublime instrument to be associated with such rubbish.

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

Don Juan Fans Strike Back

2008-09-28T17:33:00.003+02:00

Don Juan Fans Strike Back
27/9/2008 14h09

Paris, France (AFP) - In an intense reaction not seen since Dick Sargent replaced Dick York on “Bewitched,” there has been an uproar of protest directed against British composer Lord Ambrose D’Arcy’s plans to stage a sequel to the controversial opera, “Don Juan Triumphant.”

Contained primarily to the internet, a grassroots campaign has formed by “Juanna-Bes,” devoted fans of the original “Don Juan Triumphant,” to protest the new operatic sequel. “Don Juan’s fate is definitive,” one fan said on a Don Juan message board, “He’s dragged down to Hell. The end. How do you write a sequel to that?” Another fan added, “D’Arcy has no integrity anymore. He’s merely trying to capitalize on the notoriety of the original. And it isn’t even his own!”

Accusations of plagiarism have hounded Lord D’Arcy for years, most notably that of the scandal surrounding “Saint Joan: The Tragedy of Joan of Arc,” which premiered at the London Opera House. But Lord D’Arcy has always refuted such rumors as jealous gossip by his critics.

“DJ2: Electric Boogaloo” is currently in development at the Paris Opera House. Jay Cobbler is slated to direct the production.

From Lord Ambrose D’Arcy’s blog

2008-09-14T17:45:00.002+02:00

“Good day my dear fans. I’m just back from holiday and return with splendid news: I’ve decided that I shall go forward with my sequel to “Don Juan Triumphant.”

As I’m sure you know, I and my collaborator, American director Jay Cobbler, have been developing the project at the Paris Opera. While… interesting… the original “Don Juan Triumphant” was a deeply flawed work, and it was obvious to me that it had been written by someone untrained in the nuances of what makes an opera exceptional. Quite trying on the ears, it was just too much, you understand. So I took it upon myself to correct these errors while composing the sequel. I’m satisfied that I’ve corrected the various issues I had with the plotting - although I still have to talk with Jay - but regardless, this is a very exciting day for me.

So, that is all for now. It’s going to be very exciting and I can reveal to you that it will be called, “DJ2: Electric Boogaloo.”

***

This is outrageous! To take my life’s work and twist it in order to make a sequel?! What sort of diseased mind comes up with an idea such as that?

And the music is positively atrocious! Butchering my beautiful work, destroying my legacy…

Had Nadir not been here to restrain me, I surely would have committed some unseemly act upon Lord D'Arcy's person. Possibly involving a barrel of gunpowder and a funnel.

Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.

Computer

2008-09-05T23:53:00.000+02:00

Tempermental thing, this electronic typewriter/moving picture screen device, but I shall master it. It is quite useful, despite its idiosyncrasies. I can deliver notes to anyone I wish instantaneously (although there's nothing better than a hand-written note mysteriously appearing in a pocket to strike fear in your victim's heart), I can compose my music and hear it performed by a (albeit electronically-supplied) symphony seconds later, and I can keep a database on every employee in the Opera House and every last little secret they have (which will come in handy now that I'm getting on in age). And it also has this crest of sorts emblazoned on various parts of its hardware in the shape of an apple.

I love apples.

Your obedient friend,
O.G.

This Month's Object of My Borderline-Obsessive Affection

2008-09-04T03:09:00.007+02:00

Christine Daaé

Pro: A voice that makes my spirit soar, an innocent soul, a generous and compassionate heart, a beautiful smile, and the impossibly cute squeaky sound she makes when she yawns.

Con: A certain young aristocrat.

Your obedient servant,
O.G.

Fondest Greetings to You All…

2008-08-12T04:23:00.002+02:00

… and welcome to this, my personal electric journal. Forget all that you have seen and read before, because in this new age, I seek to start anew.

I am not usually one to share my thoughts with others, but my dear Angel, Christine, bade me meet with a friend of hers who apparently helped her through some childhood issues. I didn't quite understand how lying on a sofa and talking about yourself for an hour is conducive to helping ANYTHING, but this "doctor" suggested keeping a journal as a form of therapy. Apparently, I have a lot of issues that need to be dealt with.

To that end, what you read here shall be various thoughts that come to the mind of a cantankerous old ghost, ranging from commentary on the happenings taking place in my opera house above and ruminations on my legend to handy tips on how to get candle wax out of absolutely anything and the trials and tribulations of being a cat owner.

You have been warned.

Your obedient friend,
O.G.