Not only has that talentless hack had me evicted from my home for over a year, but now he's apparently moved in and wearing my wardrobe!
You will curse the day you dared to wear my mandarin robe, Lord D'Arcy! And I'd better not find out you're using my bunny slippers, too!
Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.
I am posting this from an internet café on the Champs Élysées. D'Arcy's control over the management seems to be complete as he has had them file multiple lawsuits against me for my past crimes and thus Mifroid and all his men have invaded the Opera -- effectively sealing off all access, even via my personal secret passages. The latter isn't surprising, however, since I spotted Nadir conversing with the Commissary. It seems D'Arcy has even convinced the daroga that I am once again a public threat. I can only imagine what "evidence" D'Arcy planted that would successfully turn my old friend against me.
I discovered this shocking turn of events only a few hours ago when I returned home to find Gerik torturously pounding out the melody to "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" on my organ. Upon my arrival, he stood to greet me.
"Sae we meit again fur th' first time, fur th' lest time."
"Monsieur Seinfeld rang; he wants his puffy shirt back."
"Och, ye ur a clever a body."
"Pardon me?"
"Ah said yoo're huir av a clever an' witty."
"Are you speaking Esperanto or is that just your stupid Scottish accent?"
"Enaw gab! Th' gam is up, mah wrinkled, un-tanned auld mukker. An' ye hae tint."
"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to get my Berlitz book…"
"Gendarmes ur posted at every single entrance, Polis Commissary Mifroid an' his men ur oan their way as we spick, yer haem noo belongs tae me, an' suin yer wee Christine will be oors an aw. Th' trap has sprung. Laird D'Arcy, Mr. Cobbler an Ah hae won. Ooh, Ah jist gart a rhyme!"
"Hey, look! A mirror!"
"Whaur?!?"
I then clocked him over the head with a candlestick and escaped seconds before Mifroid and Nadir arrived.
As for now, posters for my arrest are practically on every corner, and I can only stay in one place for a short while. With my, albeit, masked face everywhere, I've resorted to wearing a canvas sack over my head and masquerading as Joseph Merrick.
With my identity compromised, homeless, and my friends being turned against me, I fear that I may not be able to do this alone.
Your angel of darkness,
O.G.
My investigations into D'Arcy's personal records have revealed why Christine "decided" to participate in this sham of an opera and the depths to which the British Lord will sink in order to get his way.
It appears several months prior to his arrival in Paris to begin work, Christine's apartment building on the Rue Notre-Dame-des-Victoires was acquired by a front company for D'Arcy's corporation. A few garrotted contacts later revealed that he was threatening to evict Christine and Mama Valerius if she did not cooperate and star in his opera. Throwing a young girl and her elderly benefactress out into the streets? This villain knows no shame!
I knew my Christine would not willingly associate herself with such filth. Now, I must find a way to end this fiasco once and for all…
Your angel of darkness,
O.G.
DJ2 Previews Cancelled
Updated 2/17/2010 6:14 PM
Paris, France (AP) — It has been said that theatre is plagued by ghosts; and it appears the Paris Opera's resident spook is making himself heard once again.
Originally scheduled to begin previews this Saturday, the cast of Lord Ambrose D'Arcy's DJ2: Electric Boogaloo arrived at the Palais Garnier this morning to find all the sets and props for the production had vanished. The police investigation that followed soon found the charred remains of the items in the Bois de Boulogne, arranged to spell out "D'Arcy Sucks!" in huge letters when viewed from the air.
In a brief statement to the press, Lord D'Arcy's representatives announced that previews have been pushed back one week while the crew works to rebuild all the lost sets and props. Those patrons who had tickets to the cancelled performances were informed they could direct their complaints to the nearest brick wall.
I swear to you I can hear D'Arcy's shouts of "You're dismissed!" all the way down here in the fifth cellar.
Your obedient servant,
O.G.
D'Arcy's trainwreck of an opera is almost ready, and thus, there is more and more promotion of it to be found. This past Tuesday marked the release of one of its arias, "I Lost My Heart to a Dark Seducer," performed by my Christine and the Corps de ballet:
D'Arcy's patsy -- that Harrison critic from London -- had this to say in his newspaper column yesterday:
Get ready for the greatest event in opera history when Lord D'Arcy's DJ2 opens at the Paris Opera next month! The sets are built and the creative team and cast are busy in the rehearsal studio to work out all the kinks before opening night. The Opera's first single, "I Lost My Heart to a Dark Seducer," performed by leading lady Christine Daaé, has just been released in stores and on iTunes and is sure to generate great buzz for the show.
In past columns, I have given you details as to the plot, but now I have the great pleasure of telling you a little about the glorious music itself! Always on the cutting edge, Lord D'Arcy has created an opera composed of a single melody, with only the lyric changing from aria to aria. "It's brilliant, and something no one has been brave enough to attempt except me," said the composer between setups. And he's absolutely correct; the melody is so catchy you don't even notice that you've been hearing it repeatedly for three hours straight!
When asked how rehearsals were going, director Jay Cobbler replied, "Sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex!!!!!"
Surely, we are in for a thrill come March!
Your angel of darkness,
O.G.
As much as it pains me to say it, it appears that Lord Ambrose D'Arcy is a formidable opponent. Not only did that pasty-faced Brit succeed in effectively neutralizing me by arranging my incarceration by a devoted "phan" halfway across the world, but he also managed to sideline my network of informants by anonymously supplying a law school scholarship for Madame Giry and sending the Persian on a wild goose chase by hinting that my disappearance was due to darker purposes. That only left Little Meg and she has been distracted by the advances of the Baron de Barbazac (not to be confused with the Baron de Barbizon, the Beauty School King).
And my worst fear has been realized. My Christine has been completely taken in by D'Arcy's machinations. As you can see, his cohorts in the media succeeded in driving a wedge between my Angel and her fiancé with the incessant rumours about the Vicomte's infidelity and peccadillos:
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Viscount Raoul de Chagny in rehab for sex addiction
Updated 10/17/2009 11:03 AM
Paris, France (AP) — Viscount Raoul de Chagny has entered a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction.
In a statement released Friday by his lawyer, M. Cartier, the French aristocrat said he did so voluntarily, adding: "I ask for respect and privacy for my fiancée and myself as we deal with this situation as a couple."
The de Chagny family's publicist, Adobo Pasquale, confirmed the rehab report, which first appeared on People.com.
He and Cartier both declined to elaborate further.
de Chagny, 21, has been fighting allegations of affairs, alcohol abuse and sexual addiction since his return from his humanitarian aid trip early last year.
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Their engagement was called off around the New Year, it seems, and the Vicomte has yet to return.
D'Arcy has even gone so far as to relocate her to another dressing room where I no longer have immediate access to her. With no one who truly cares about her able to come to her aid, it is no wonder that talentless, warthog-faced hack's plans are coming so quickly to fruition. They are already deep into rehearsals and an opening night has already been established.
I have only managed to speak to Christine once since my return, and she was strangely quiet as to what she has been doing in regards to the “opera.” I am beginning to suspect she is keeping something from me.
Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.
