MERDE!

How DARE that pompous, arrogant, rosbif bastard! I know he's behind this!

Phantom of the Opera Caught in Bootleg Sex Tape
By Richard Chambers
Last updated at 3:19 AM on 28th August 2009

The Daily Mail has just received what appears to be a private sex tape of gorgeous opera superstar Christine Daaé and the mysterious Phantom of the Opera.



An anonymous person, who may be planning on selling the tape over the internet, has allegedly been circulating the tape amongst members of the media.

Representatives of Christine Daaé, currently set to star in Lord D'Arcy's "DJ2: Electric Boogaloo," insist that the tape is a fraud and that Miss Daaé would never participate in such scandalous behaviour.

Did he even consider what this might do to Christine's reputation? And with her and Raoul in Germany trying to mend their relationship away from prying eyes, she cannot even defend herself against such slander!

IT IS WAR BETWEEN US, D'ARCY!

(As if I didn't have enough problems with all these email messages I've been getting addressed to a "MaskedOrganMaster.")

Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.