My dear readers, it is official. I have learned that my nemesis, Lord D'Arcy and his co-conspirator, my other nemesis Jay Cobbler, have decided to cast my ULTIMATE nemesis Gerik, in his Don Juan sequel. He will play opposite Christine and the opera is scheduled to open the season this Fall. All my enemies have united against me! Surely this is some test of my resolve, pitting me against so many foes. Or perhaps I've landed in a Batman movie. I haven't decided quite yet.
Investigations have also weeded out casting notices, shedding light on the characters and more in this sham of an opera:
Seeking
Don Juan: Caucasian man, 25 - 29. Recently rescued from Hell, he burns with the flames of hot, naked sexuality as he ravishes the Mediterranean coast as "The F*cking Bandit" and rises to become the maestro of a hedonistic pleasure resort called the Electric Boogaloo. Must possess effortless sensuality and sexuality. Chest hair a plus. Singing voice optional. STARRING ROLE.
Aminta: Caucasian woman, 21 - 21.5. Now a destitute (yet hot) peasant, Aminta still holds the steamy sexuality of her days as a youth. Although she has an echo of sadness and distance about her after having lost her soul mate, she must possess an equal blend of raw emotionality and extraordinary physical flexibility. Glorious soprano singing voice. Bring fruit of your choice to audition. No fatties. STARRING ROLE.
Batricio: Caucasian man, 24 - 25. Aminta’s ex-fiancé. Now a functioning, stoic alcoholic with more than a glimmer of self-righteous rage at being cuckolded. First leftenant of the army hunting Don Juan across the countryside. Must possess domineering gravitas and sexuality and look good in toreador pants.
Rose: Caucasian woman, 17-19. A sexy gypsy and Electric Boogaloo star. Sweetly gothic, a mystical down to earth-ness, unusually nondescript, and possesses a vulnerable heart of steel. Tall, yet petite. Strong pole dancing experience. A spunky voice, bell-like but with a raspy quality. Must be able to belt as well as sing while hanging upside down from a trapeze and being sprayed by a firehose.
El Fantasma: Caucasian man, 50-100. Disfigured creature and Don Juan's nemesis, intent on making things happen for him and him alone while having attained the position of affluence in the Spanish court. He thus feels entitled to prominence and distinction. Carrier of a dark secret, he will make sure that nothing and no one gets in his way of taking revenge on Don Juan. Has much pent-up aggression, like a compressed Mel Gibson after a 2-week bender, if you will.
The Doctor: Caucasian man, age N/A. Sexy Timelord who saves Don Juan from Hell and serves as deus ex machina for any plot holes. Must have an other-worldly essence and goofy charm; an off-kilter attractiveness and character. Preferably last name that rhymes with "pennant."
Time is of the essence. I must accelerate my plans…
This update is a bit overdue, but I thought I should post it nevertheless in case some of you were interested in where my investigations were currently.
Last month, Ayesha boldly infiltrated Lord D'Arcy's estate and succeeded in deleting the entire score off of his computers. She also absconded with a file apparently dealing with this new opera [sic] before being spotted and fleeing the property. I was quite pleased when I found the documents outside my door.
My mood was short-lived after opening the package, which detonated a dye pack within and stained my hands, suit, and mask in bright pink ink. At the bottom of the package was a note that read as follows:
Hahahahaha you FOOL! You dare try to sabotage my new opera?!? Did you not think I would be prepared for your meddling in my affairs? You have sorely underestimated me, my boy, for you fell victim to one of the world's classic blunders: Never go in against D'Arcy when there's fame, fortune, and a casting couch on the line!
I will always be one step ahead of you. You may have bested managers, stagehands, divas, and viscounts in the past, but you are sorely mistaken if you think you'll succeed against a LORD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… HAHAHAHAHAhahaha… haha… ha… *whew*
Lord Ambrose D'Arcy
Seriously, who *writes* maniacal laughter? Clearly the man is unbalanced. And when teamed with that gaudy American director, Cobbler, perhaps I do have a less than easy task on my hands.
I shall endeavour to keep close eye on Christine to be sure she is not drawn too deeply into their schemes.
Today's topic is a concept referred to as the "Bounce." To "bounce," is to take the object of your interest on an instant date, moving them from where you are to another location.
It's actually easier to show this rather than describe it, so I've included a video for demonstrative purposes.
Man #1 starts off well enough, starting off with a solid hook to draw the young woman into a conversation. He does have a bit of a handicap considering he has a prior history with her to draw on, but even that can only get you so far. Notice how she pulls back after the brief embrace (did she feel something inappropriate on his part downstairs? Keep your hormones under control students!) and he immediately resumes a nostalgic narrative in order to maintain the connection. He's rushing a bit in attempting kino escalation (more on this in another lesson) -- notice how he starts to touch her shoulders and play with her hair -- but she doesn't seem put out by it. His big mistake is attempting a bounce (inviting her to supper, in this case) without a stronger comfort zone established. She clearly offers up something of importance to her in conversation, but he completely ignores it. His game not only goes downhill from there, it jumps off a cliff.
In comparison, Man #2 starts off by firmly demonstrating his higher value by initiating an AMOG (Alpha Male Other Guy) move, essentially locking Man #1 out of competition (typically, this is done in the competitor's presence, but the result here is the same). The woman responds with clear IOIs (Indicators of Interest), demonstrating a solid comfort zone has been established between the two. It is at this point that Man #2 initiates the bounce, and is successful and the PFC (Poor Frustrated Chump) named Man #1 is left wondering what the hell happened. And that took all of 2 minutes! THAT's a master pick-up artist at work.
Thus endeth the lesson.
Your obedient friend, O.G. (aka The Angel of Music)
