DJ2 Previews Cancelled
Updated 2/17/2010 6:14 PM
Paris, France (AP) — It has been said that theatre is plagued by ghosts; and it appears the Paris Opera's resident spook is making himself heard once again.
Originally scheduled to begin previews this Saturday, the cast of Lord Ambrose D'Arcy's DJ2: Electric Boogaloo arrived at the Palais Garnier this morning to find all the sets and props for the production had vanished. The police investigation that followed soon found the charred remains of the items in the Bois de Boulogne, arranged to spell out "D'Arcy Sucks!" in huge letters when viewed from the air.
In a brief statement to the press, Lord D'Arcy's representatives announced that previews have been pushed back one week while the crew works to rebuild all the lost sets and props. Those patrons who had tickets to the cancelled performances were informed they could direct their complaints to the nearest brick wall.
I swear to you I can hear D'Arcy's shouts of "You're dismissed!" all the way down here in the fifth cellar.
Your obedient servant,
O.G.
D'Arcy's trainwreck of an opera is almost ready, and thus, there is more and more promotion of it to be found. This past Tuesday marked the release of one of its arias, "I Lost My Heart to a Dark Seducer," performed by my Christine and the Corps de ballet:
D'Arcy's patsy -- that Harrison critic from London -- had this to say in his newspaper column yesterday:
Get ready for the greatest event in opera history when Lord D'Arcy's DJ2 opens at the Paris Opera next month! The sets are built and the creative team and cast are busy in the rehearsal studio to work out all the kinks before opening night. The Opera's first single, "I Lost My Heart to a Dark Seducer," performed by leading lady Christine Daaé, has just been released in stores and on iTunes and is sure to generate great buzz for the show.
In past columns, I have given you details as to the plot, but now I have the great pleasure of telling you a little about the glorious music itself! Always on the cutting edge, Lord D'Arcy has created an opera composed of a single melody, with only the lyric changing from aria to aria. "It's brilliant, and something no one has been brave enough to attempt except me," said the composer between setups. And he's absolutely correct; the melody is so catchy you don't even notice that you've been hearing it repeatedly for three hours straight!
When asked how rehearsals were going, director Jay Cobbler replied, "Sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex!!!!!"
Surely, we are in for a thrill come March!
Your angel of darkness,
O.G.
