D'Arcy Greenlights New Don Juan Opera 29/12/2008 12h05
PARIS, France (AFP) - No need for Viagra here -- it seems nothing can stop that old warhorse of a property called Don Juan from rising again.
The entire operatic world knows of the ill-fated "Don Juan Triumphant," an ambitious opera by an unknown composer that somehow found itself entwined in the mysterious legend of the Phantom of the Opera.
Now, the infamous British composer Lord Ambrose D'Arcy and his collaborator American director Jay Cobbler have announced that "the button is pushed" on their follow up to that work.
Currently titled "DJ2: F*ck You, Just Give Me Your Money and Shut Up," it is set to open at the end of next year at the Paris Opera.
The sequel will be set a year after the first installment, during which Don Juan has languished in Hell only to be rescued by Doctor Who. Adopting a new masked identity, Don Juan soon amasses a great fortune from his conquests and opens a pleasure paradise called the Electric Boogaloo. "It's something I've always imagined building myself one day," said D'Arcy.
The opera will reunite Don Juan with Aminta, originally played by opera darling Christine Daaé who will be reprising her role. The rest of the production has yet to be cast, but D'Arcy is clear on who his Don Juan is going to be, "but I can't say who."
Cobbler only comment regarding the project was, "Sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex!!!"
Look for Don Juan to expose himself to the opera-going public next winter.
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If anyone needs me, I'll be in my torture chamber getting acquainted with the iron tree and a sturdy length of rope.
Although the Masquerade Ball is still to come, things have settled down a bit here at the Opera now that Christmas is behind us.
I had a pleasant Christmas dinner with Nadir, Ayesha and the Girys. It was rather brief, however, since people always find it disconcerting to have a meal while I am sitting stock-still at the table, neither eating nor drinking, and staring at them the entire time. I can't help it; it's what I do.
I was genuinely touched by the gifts the Girys had given me, particularly the new quill and inkwell set from Little Meg since my old one is a bit worse for wear. Even Ayesha, my little darling, was in the Christmas spirit and had gifts for everyone. Her gift for me was quite the surprise -- her own original composition. Although to be honest, when I played it on the organ, it sounded strangely like this:
I found this in an e-mail someone sent me from America:
Merry Christmas to me, indeed!
Christmas, like most holidays, is for people with family and friends. And until recently, I have always felt I had neither -- with the exception of Ayesha and Nadir of course. But now, I feel something akin to companionship with several denizens of the Opera. It's as if my heart grew three sizes today.
The Girys left their gifts for me in Box Five last night. In return, I left them their gifts: for Meg, a free coupon to step in for a suddenly-available prima ballerina role at a performance of her choosing (with at least a day's notice to make the arrangements), and red petticoat for her mother (don't ask). I also have a gift for Ayesha that will hopefully keep her from further ravaging my mannequin. And while I was in a festive mood, I also left a lump of coal in Monsieur André's tophat and gave Carlotta a new atomizer since she threw away the one I gave her that last time. I also acquired this item on eBay as a gift for the Vicomte de Chagny and propped it up outside his bedroom window:
I'm also a bit disappointed that Christine could not share these warm holiday feelings with me since apparently, Monsieur le Vicomte has whisked her away to spend the last fleeting days with her before he joins that celebrity charity trip to New Guinea. I cannot blame him, however. I most likely would have done the same if our roles were reversed. See Dr. Schneider? I am capable of growth!
Madame Giry is attending a ballet conference in London this week and informed me that this would be a good opportunity for me to share some (as she put it) "quality time" with her daughter. She has never explained exactly why she has recently given great interest in having us "bond," and to be honest, I've been too preoccupied with this Gerik person to give it much thought.
"Find something to do together that you'll both enjoy -- but no reading her detective stories!" she insisted before she left last night. "She's inquisitive enough as it is."
I'm at a bit of a loss for what to do. While I appreciate the art, I am not as educated about ballet as I should be, so unless this "Nutcracker" features Gerik and a ballerina with notoriously bad aim when she kicks, that may not work out for the best.
Perhaps I'll teach her the art of the Punjab lasso.
Viscount de Chagny to Get Down and Dirty for the Poor 7/12/2008 14h07
PARIS, France (AFP) - Viscount Raoul de Chagny, after having announced that he would be co-funding U2 frontman Bono’s humanitarian aid expedition to New Guniea, startled reporters when he added that he would be personally assisting in the endeavour.
The young and handsome French aristocrat has managed to avoid the public eye despite his engagement to opera star Christine Daaé, preferring to allow his fiancée to shine in the spotlight. But after appearing in MTV’s “The Real World: Paris Opera,” the Viscount has been in attendance at many philanthropic events.
Bono’s project, called “Domiciles for Dwarves,” will construct homes and provide medical care for the country’s indigenous pygmies. The 2-month long operation boasts many international media celebrities and will commence at the end of the month.
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Bon voyage, Monsieur le Vicomte! Don't get eaten by cannibals or anything!
Christine and I got into a bit of a tiff last month. I was upset that even with her excellent taste and standards, she has yet to divorce herself from D'Arcy's "DJ2" project, instead deciding to honor her obligations as a member of the company. In a moment of thoughtlessness, I said she should grow a spine and she responded with something regarding a nose and then stormed off. And to be honest, I believe the Naomi Watts thing didn't help matters.
But both our heads have cooled and she even took it upon herself to decorate my lair for the Christmas season. Hundred of metres of garland are strewn across the portcullis, the candelabra now look like giant candy canes, and life-sized jolly elf figurines are currently prancing around my throne.
I love the girl with all my heart but someone has got to stop her before she decorates again.
