All I hear around the administrative halls these past few weeks is "Gerik this" and "Gerik that." I've half a mind to blow those barrels underneath the torture chamber just to drown out all that annoying fawning.
Apparently, the costs are going towards something other than this Gerik's wardrobe since all his shirts were missing the front half. How I miss Mme Björnson's presence. There was a woman with a true sense of beauty.
I'll have to see what I can uncover about this whelp's background…
Your obedient servant,
O.G.
Don Juan 2 is a Hot Mess
In a press conference on the steps of the Paris Opera earlier today, Lord Ambrose D'Arcy confirmed that soprano Christine Daaé and baritone Gerik will star in his new opera, "Don Juan 2: Electric Boogaloo." He informed the press that the production is scheduled to premiere in the middle of the coming opera season, adding, "any more delays and I'll dismiss the entire staff!"
The show, originally scheduled to open the season this September, has been plagued by minor setbacks for the past several months. Many attribute it to the legendary Phantom of the Opera, who allegedly wrote "Don Juan Triumphant," the opera Lord D'Arcy based his sequel upon and does not want his work "compromised" by a sequel. But the composer dismissed such rumblings as backstage gossip.
"Listen to me: there is nothing in Heaven, on Earth, or in the depths of Hell that will prevent my opera from going forward," Lord D'Arcy said as we listened to Ms. Daaé's soaring soprano voice while she and other cast members rehearsed a scene onstage. "Look at that: my music, my actors, my sets. How could any sane person deny the world such perfection?" His collaborator, director Jay Cobbler, noted as they watched Ms Daaé practice her pole dancing technique opposite her stage rival, Rose (played by newcomer Rose Velvetlips), "She's quite talented. I mean, look at that lovely hair."
"She's a delicious little thing," Lord D'Arcy added.
My sense of DJ2 is that it's undoubtedly the most incredible, innovative, and spectacular score the world will ever hear and once it premieres, the demand for it to be added to the repertoire of every opera company around the globe will be immediate.
The show is set a year after the events of the original. Don Juan has escaped from Hell with the unwitting assistance of Doctor Who and finds himself on the run from an army of men dishonoured by his lascivious shenanigans. Donning a mask and amassing a great fortune as "the F@#king Bandit," Don Juan establishes himself as the Grand Master of a hedonistic pleasure resort called The Electric Boogaloo.
Aminta, now an exotic dancer and unaware that her lost love is the puppet master behind the scenes, is invited to perform at the resort. But hot on her heels is her former fiancé, Batricio (played by Anatole Garron) and the mysterious El Fantasma (played by the late Abe Vigoda), who are convinced that she will lead them to their elusive quarry.
We shall see who has the last laugh, D'Arcy…
Your Angel of Darkness,
O.G.
It has been years since I lost you, but the emptiness in my heart remains. That part of myself that you filled with your unconditional love, your limitless joy, your non-judgemental affection.
Your name was my first word. Your gentle touch, my first laugh.
You were my first friend, Sasha. And you will always be a part of me.
Love,
Erik
26 June 2009 (Paris Match) - Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny is livid over the numerous sleazy personal allegations ascribed to him in the British tabloid the Daily Mail. Previous stories included anonymous claims that the Vicomte is having an affair with American actress Angelina Jolie, is an abusive alcoholic, and is a eunuch. Last week, the tabloid reported that Chagny has a fetish for autoerotic asphyxiation and voyeurism.
The charming and popular Vicomte is currently engaged to Christine Daaé, popular Swedish opera singer, although rumors are flying that their relationship is on rocky ground.
Speaking through a family representative, the Gallic hunk says he is greatly embarrassed and aggravated by the tabloid stories which he claims are not true, and his lawyers are currently investigating their legal options.
Your obedient friend,
O.G.
I may not be on the best terms with the boy, but even I doubt anyone would believe this rubbish.
Viscount Chagny is a Sex Addict?
By Richard Chambers
Last updated at 8:13 AM on 19th June 2009
An anonymous source informed the Daily Mail that the growing rift between opera superstar Christine Daaé and her fiancé Viscount Raoul Chagny stems from the French nobleman's obsession with voyeurism and autoerotic asphyxiation. Apparently, the seeds for the Viscount's sex addiction originated during the infamous events of Miss Daaé's abduction by the Phantom of the Opera during the premiere performance of "Don Juan Triumphant." Previously thought to merely be backstage gossip, our source claims to have found new evidence of an incident between the Viscount and the Opera Ghost over Christine deep beneath the opera house which involved Chagny suffocating himself with a noose while watching his fiancée get hot and heavy with his arch nemesis.
The source added, "It's all quite scandalous, you understand. I think it would be best for everyone that they separated so that the Viscount's tarnished image would not be linked to someone associated with my-- I mean, Lord D'Arcy's new opera."
Your obedient friend,
O.G.
After having successfully derailed D'Arcy's project for the time being, there has been little for me to do other than lay the groundwork to destroy it permanently. I am currently delving into the background of this Gerik person to see what deep, dark secrets I can find.
In other news, I took Ayesha's laptop away from her about a month ago after discovering she felt that my checking up on Christine and the Vicomte's relationship was unhealthy. Does she not understand that I am only looking out for my Angel's best interests? And to have the temerity to suggest that she set me up on one of those electronic dating services…
Well, what she doesn't know is that I have been seriously contemplating doing so for a few months, now. I have a first draft in front of me, but am unsure if I should post it.
Bah! Such concerns are trivial if D'Arcy and his cohorts are not stopped from desecrating my magnum opus with their sequel. Back to work…
Your obedient friend,
O.G.
D'Arcy's DJ2 Is Delayed
8 May 2009
Lord Ambrose D'Arcy has cancelled next week's press report to launch the promotional blitz for his new opera, DJ2, after being forced to postpone its opening from September to late October, according to a report in the Daily Mail.
According to the London paper, the composer has had to return to the studio to re-record the album, after having learned that all the sheet music provided to the musicians and performers had been transposed in a seemingly random manner. "We were confused at first," said one musician who wished to remain anonymous, "but we figured Lord D'Arcy was going for a cacophony of sound. If he'd bothered to attend a single recording session, we might have avoided all that waste of time."
You're welcome.
Your obedient friend,
O.G.
